I am leaving these words here as a reminder to myself and anyone who happens to stumble upon them that your words still live within you and are ready to come out when you are ready to read them.
I stare at the blinking cursor on my screen, wondering what I should be writing about.
“Why does this even matter?” My brain asks. “You have been irrelevant for too long.”
Okay…ouch.
It’s hard to get past what’s holding you back when the thing holding you back is yourself.
All the attractive opportunities you are being sent get pushed away from negative thinking and self-doubt.
Why do we do these things to ourselves?
I am tempted to hit ‘delete’ on these words, yet, I don’t.
I know I am not the only person who feels this way occasionally.
What never comes to mind is that I am not in bed, lying under the covers to avoid the world. I am making huge strides in my business. My family has considerable time demands, which don’t compare to the time needs of my clients.
However, I still crave the creative part that blogging would satisfy in me.
So, here I am, hitting the keyboard for a taste of satisfaction. Exercising my writing muscle so that it will stay strong for me for the days that I will have time to prioritize it.
OBLIGATION VS DESIRE
I quit my “real job” a long time ago.
There was so much missing within me that I had to break away. I felt smothered and unfulfilled. Those feelings left me an empty shell of a mother and wife.
As I settled into finding my work-from-home life, I messed up by not creating boundaries that kept me from being everything to everyone. For example, my lack of office hours meant I could do a favor or chat with someone to pass their time.
Let’s not forget the demands my family needed.
My work-from-home life automatically made me the primary person to care for everything my kids needed, regardless of what was on my books for the day.
How did I expect to create something when no one could see what I was trying to do?
I often wonder what my life would be like if I had been strong enough to speak out on those who impeded my time.
Where would I be now?
357 WORDS, AND I STILL HAVE THINGS TO SAY
Today, I aimed to sit at the keys and see what came out.
That’s inappropriate, I know. According to all the experts, I should sit down with a set goal in mind and finish it.
Technically, my thing to get done was to get some words on the screen. However, my goal was to see if that creative spark still lived within me and would forgive me enough to come out to entertain me.
So, I am leaving these words here as a reminder to myself and anyone who happens to stumble upon them that your words still live within you and are ready to come out when you are ready to read them.
Take the time to satisfy your craving for writing. Fill the empty void that will only come from your self-fulfillment.
