Do you know that old George Strait song, “When Did You Stop Loving Me?”?
A few years ago, I had an affair with personal development.
Any conversation I had with someone else would somehow have a tidbit of advice woven into the conversation.
I was in love with being the best version of myself.
The End of an Affair
Somewhere along the way, all the beautiful habits and routines I have come to love and look forward to have disappeared.
When did my life take over my life?
A thought hit me yesterday over a plate of lasagna. My friend looked at me over my fork full of homemade sauce, cheese, and noodles.
“Since when did you start eating processed foods again?”
His question wasn’t in an accusatory tone. But, when I replay it in my mind, the accusation is covering the statement in as much sauce as was on my lunch.
On my drive home, I thought about it. When did I stop paying attention to the foods I eat? What day did I decide I wasn’t going to work out and then continued to not work out.
I couldn’t recall the last day I had paid attention to my health.
Walking into my house was another abrupt wake-up call. There is stuff stacked and cluttered on every surface of my house.
Another thought played out: all of this stuff used to be money.
We worked to have our money turned into clutter. Is that the way life is supposed to be?
I sat down at my desk to do a little client work before I left to catch up with the rest of my family.
As my computer powered up, I cringe looking at the box of organized receipts that I still have to put in QuickBooks for our taxes.
When did I stop my daily bookkeeping habit?
I pulled up the website for the other business I started in 2019. The whole drive behind that business was to teach micro farmers and ranchers how to make profits in their businesses.
It’s hard for people to learn from you when the knowledge you have is stored unpublished inside your Google Drive.
I have no idea when I stopped putting my desire to help other people on the back burner.
It’s now 8:48 AM on this beautiful Sunday morning.
Only 45 minutes have passed since I made myself get out of bed. There was a time when I was excited to be sitting in front of my computer at 4 AM. I crave the silence and peace of the morning. I have missed it.
I have Running in Boots pulled up in one of the many tabs on my screen. There are three blog posts on there. A new post hasn’t been uploaded in years. New Instagram photos haven’t been added since December of 2019. And, the same goes for my Facebook page.
Looking back, I can remember being so caught up in what all the blogging experts were saying. Some of the advice I was taking was from people who didn’t have their own businesses figured out.
There was so much stuff I should be doing. I should post on social media daily. There should be a new blog post coming from me every other day. I should be building an email list with a bunch of freebies. This blog should be making money by now.
This list goes on and on of all the things I “should be” doing.
Did all the research and “should be’s” kill my desire to make a living off of something I once loved to do?
Perfect Timing
It’s amazing what a fork full of pasta and a good friend can do for your mindset.
One statement can have a chain of event reaction in your life. So, if you don’t have that friend to look at you from across the table right now, please let me be that friend.
When did you stop giving a damn about the things that once were important to you?
